"The Best of Astoria"= Unbuttoned Pants Glory

I never miss an all-you-can-eat event. Except buffets.

This past Thursday, I went to an eating spectacle in the foodie capital of the world-Astoria, Queens at BBQ mecca The Strand. Ok ok, I wish it was the foodie capital, and a BBQ mecca from Texas, but it does have an enormous amount of food options for a small section in the larger NYC metropolis, and it's great because you can literally find any and every type of cuisine. Variety at its finest. Hosted by a fellow blog site We Heart Astoria, this event brought out the best that Astoria has to offer, from the drag queens to the BBQ, which obviously go hand in hand.

Get it gurls (boyz)

Since I've actually been to a couple of the Best of Astoria winning restaurants, I'm going to include those in here, as well as what I gleefully consumed from The Strand, which may or may not have been a winner....(This is really just my way of adding suspense to keep you here).

To get right down to it, the winner for favorite restaurant in Astoria wasssss (hint: it's not Greek, a hookah lounge, or a beer garden; Astoria surprisingly has other things) Il Bambino! A panini joint. Small plates. Really a rendition of all the new hipster places popping up, but I won't hate, since I've been and really enjoyed it. But me enjoying it doesn't say much, since I enjoy most food all day err day. The give you a jist of what this place caters to, common ingredients include prosciutto, goat cheese, truffle oil, and various other ingredients of high, gourmet quality.

Quality Queens

In a completely contradictory way, the winner for the favorite burger joint AND the favorite vegan/vegetarian friendly restaurant was the same place: BareBurger. Interesting, since BareBurger has more meat options,  than any other venue I've personally been to besides a BBQ place, but I guess these veggie Astoria folk enjoy being surrounded by Ostrich, Lamb, and Bison burgers. All wonderful, unique options for the meat lover of course! Since the meat is organic and natural, I suppose that qualifies as veggie friendly...right. Quinoa burgers def do though, so maybe I should stop judging for once. Obviously, I've been here in regards to the hearty meats, but BareBurger is actually accessible in many parts of the city now besides Astoria, so although it originated here, and I love it greatly, you don't need to be in Astoria to have it. Personally, I think Petey's Burger should've won, (a strong contender, only in the LIC/Astoria area, and basically the best milkshake I've ever consumed) but I'm only speaking of the winners here and cannot digress. And I didn't even vote so my opinion means nothing. All I will say is try the applewood smoked thick cut bacon on whatever burger you wish, cuz OMGAH PARTY IN MY MOUTH. Try it too veggies, and pretend like it's tempeh.

Making myself hungry.

Moving along to breakfast options, even though I should've started with this, the winner for favorite bagel shop AND favorite coffee shop/cafe is: Brooklyn Bagel & Coffee Company. If you know me already, you know how many issues I'm already about to have. ASTORIA DON'T NEED YO BROOKLYN NAME BROOKLYN. Why no call it ASTORIA Bagel and Coffee?? Need the cool factor of hip, young, and trendy Brooklyn to get customers? I come to you regardless, because the REAL issue at hand are these double category winners existing due to the lack of competition. Astoria isn't really ripe with coffee options. Nor is it ripe with veggie options. I know I said it's a food mecca, but everything needs improvement, and this shop named after Brooklyn exemplifies it. Or maybe it just exemplifies that people are go to trendy places. But the bagels and cream cheese are good, just overpriced. Like Brooklyn itself. No surprise there.

This got nothing on the new Taco Bell breakfast menu

Naturally, after breakfast, people talk about street food vendors. I LOVE me some street food, and Astoria has some decent options. The winner, of course, was Wafels and Dinges, one of the original food trucks from Manhattan, which is NOT original to Astoria, but is pretty much the best dessert I've ever eaten. Nutella and speculoos (basically a more delicious form of cinnamon) ice cream and bananas? Obviously this would steal the hearts of locals.

Must-have.

Although Wafels and Dinges actually won, because trendy always wins, the runner-up is actually unique to Astoria and Astoria only. El Rey del Taco truck is a drunk Mexican food haven, which I know because I may or may not have unknowingly gotten extremely spicy food there once while drunk and burned my insides. But please, try it! I just can't handle the heat.

Perfectly safe, I assure you.

Last, but certainly not least, the winner for best BBQ joint (and another combo winner) favorite place to hear music is: The Strand Smokehouse, which is where this lovely event was held. This is where I unbuttoned my pants and almost vomited because you give me the key to unlimited grub and alcohol, and I go all the way to hell. Although I can't say if this BBQ was authentic, since I've never been to Texas or St. Louis or North Carolina (anyone want to sponsor me for trips?) I CAN say that in comparison to other BBQ joints I've tried in this area, I really, really liked this place. We were allowed two meats and two sides, so I chose brisket, chicken, mac and cheese, and cornbread. This was all while I was slopping down appetizers that were passed around, without napkins of course because I'm a ravenous animal. Unfortunately, I was too busy scarfing down the food to take legitimate pictures, but I do remember the appetizers consisting of a fried mac and cheese ball, crab cake, beef bouillon, and bacon wrapped mini hot dogs. I probably had around....7 of these before eating my actual meal. So....in essence...all I have to offer you is this:

I disgust myself, don't worry.

In non-typical Foodie Falz fashion, I couldn't finish it. That's how far I went guys. To the ends of my stomach and beyond. But I have no regrets. Maybe I should.....I HEART ASTORIA.