Candy Should be its Own Food Group (Halloween Edition)

Boo! Did I scare you? Did I perhaps fool you since no true, uptight food blogger would actually want to consider CANDY a food group!? That's for the peasants who think candy corn is the best! (No offense dear friends with a love of this...that I will never understand)

Not appealing to the eye

For me, and every other person who celebrates this holiday unless you have no soul,  Halloween is all about the candy, the GOOD candy, not that fruity crap that people think is candy. Ok, it's candy, but I'm not a fan. No, rich woman with a large, white home, I do not want mints or lifesavers. I want the chocolate! Give me caramel! I want my teeth to struggle with the cavities being inflicted upon them!

In honor of this day full of treats and tricks, but I'm only in it for the treats, I will now count down my top 5 favorite Halloween candies. It is almost a guarantee that you will not find Swedish fish, gummy bears, and especially not CANDY CORN. Sorry. Except not.

5. Snickers- You know what's great about snickers? That people with large homes that weren't run by older ladies would give out HUGE FOOT LONG BARS.

Hungry? GRAB A SNICKERS

Was that not the best thing in the world? Or only the best thing in my world? Caramel and peanuts and chocolate?? Pretty much the top three best combinations of combinations ever invented, except I also need a crunch factor.

4. Kit Kat-Gimme a break, gimme a break. Just for their little commercial jingle, I love kit kats. And for the fact that they consist of the perfect amount of chocolate and crunch with the wafer bar underneath. But they aren't good enough for the top 3. Tragic.

3. Nestle Crunch-One could say these are boring, nothing candies full of chocolate and krispy crunchies (or maybe only I would use the word "crunchies") but I used to get so excited when these were in my little pumpkin bucket. And pillow case. Perhaps in college one year....but who's to say. I just love the crunch factor...hence the name.

2. Reese's Pieces Peanut Butter Cups- I love peanut butter. I love peanut butter. I cannot get enough of my peanut butter. Peanut M&Ms would've been included if I made a top 10, but as I'm sure all have concluded by now, I am the laziest food blogger ever. These peanut butter cups are pure perfection. Just enough chocolate on the outside to savor the peanutty butter on the inside. I could eat one every day and be totally satisfied. When Reese's pieces came out, they did not measure up to my butter cups. But Reese's pieces cereal (which probably isn't sold anymore due to everyone being a health food fanatic)  was quite possibly the most delicious, memorable cereal I've had had. Along with my number one, I could eat these all day every day. If it wasn't unhealthy since society now realizes how fat I will become.

OM NOMM NOM

1. Twix

Welcome to the GOLDEN HOLY GRAIL

Everyone I know loves twix. I don't know a single soul who doesn't love twix. If you don't like twix, you don't deserve Halloween candy. Am I a bit much? Maybe. But that's how much I love twix. The buttery, crunchy biscuit with the caramel and chocolate literally makes me sing with joy.

I hope everyone also gets bubble gum, peanut M&M's, milky ways, and anything else that has peanut butter (100 Grands!) because they all deserve honorable mentions.

Also, as a wise man once told me, "Goodnight, sleep tight, and don't have a fright, and remember, always keep on the light."

Oktoberfest-Svholentnk (Not real German, but pretty damn close no?)

I've taken a hiatus from this blog, and I wish I could say it's because I've been nonstop stuffing my face with beer, bratwurst, and dancing around in lederhosen.

(The last part may or may not be true....but that's my little secret). But alas, it's not. Instead I've been lazy and eating foods that I haven't written about. But get excited because that changes with this very entry!

October is part of the autumnal season that I so appropriately enjoy, mostly for the pumpkin flavored everything and hot apple cider. Don't think I'm one of those girls who obsess over the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte though, because I will consider that an insult to my eloquent, intrinsic foodie knowledge. No true foodie likes a pumpkin spice latte.....or so we will say. Most of all, people are beginning to enjoy October for the stolen German celebration of Oktoberfest. Americans have taken this festival and run with it in true American over-the-top fashion, much like they take St. Patrick's Day and make every food you can imagine green with that Irish (American) pride.
 

Only am American would have a belly like that.

I wish I could say I have been to Germany to experience this festival of drunken buffoonery for myself, but I have not. Instead, I attended a local celebration in the mountains of Hunter, or upstate New York for all the Long Islanders who have never been above the Bronx. Here, I consumed some "authentic" German delicacies that I will now speak of and have nothing to compare them too. MY OPINION IS VALUABLE. I promise you.

When In Rome, one must try what the local customs are known for. Except in this case, change Rome to an American ski resort that is emulating a German village. There were multiple little trucks, or food stands, selling typical German fare, as well as BBQ and burgers because we must never forget where we came from. My family likes to try new things, and I have an image to uphold, so we went with the German fare. I got a traditional bratwurst roll (Bratwurst is made with pork and spices. Add a little mustard and you are good to go) with a side of German potato salad, a beer (in this case it's food), German potato pancakes with some applesauce, and :drum-roll please: Leberkase. Or a German meatloaf. Or really spam because that is what it looked and tasted like. But I ate it anyways because I have no shame. And because my dad refused to. Again, I have no shame.

Glorified? Spam

In essence, German food is nothing to rave about. Sausages are always tasty, I enjoy anything with potatoes, but I mean, there's not much more to it. Of course, I basically ate the equivalent of German carnival food, but we can't all travel the world with first class delicacies, so this was the best i could do. Whatever you do, have some shame unlike myself and DON'T EAT THE LEBERKASE.

Eat this instead. This may not be much better....

   

San Gennaro: Little Italy's Last Resort

It's that time of year again folks. The smell of Sausage and Peppers is in the air. All of downtown is in a traffic lock. New Yorkers with fake Italian accents are trying to get you into their Mulberry Street restaurants. Cannolis are being sold for 6 bucks a piece. Paella is being sold at an Italian festival. Snooki and the cast of Jersey Shore grace all memorabilia.

Probably not a real Italian.

I can only be talking about the one and only San Gennaro Festival. The feast of all feasts (in existence for 87 years) that has truly turned from an Italian's paradise into an overpriced non-authentic stereotype that's too strong even for me to bare. This due to the fact that I am part Italian and actually enjoy this aspect of my very multicultural heritage. What used to be the crowned gem of Lower Manhattan has been taken over by a much larger Chinatown and Soho with people that aren't really Italian. This isn't to say they shouldn't still celebrate this feast and all that it does have to offer, but over the years that I have attended I have just found myself more disappointed with what it puts out into the world. Mozzarella Pies? I could get that a regular old carnival. Six dollar desserts? I could go to my local Italian bakery and get just as good ones for much cheaper. And why in the world are you selling Spanish Paella at an Italian Festival?? Trying to fool those who are ignorant? I get that this is, in a way, a tourist trap of sorts now, but I just wish it could still represent what it set out to do years ago when it started: show people the true nature of Italian food, culture, and the people. And essentially be a religious tribute to San Gennaro instead of a food coma block party (for all you heathens ruining the world out there). Please know I'm joking because I love me a good food coma.

The best part about being Italian

Although I sound like I've been sippin of some San Gennaro haterade, there are some gems left in this quaint part of town that can still be worth your while. Not that San Gennaro is not. I would say it's worth it just to see, but you may or may not want to return. Depending how much money you think a great Sausage and Peppers and cannoli are worth (Answer: not an extreme amount). Also do not assume that the authentic Italian way is what is being portrayed, because again, a lot of it is just touristy stereotypes (Jersey Shore being reason enough).

Ferrara Bakery & Cafe- This famous Little Italy spot was founded in 1892 when the gangs of the New York mafioso ran the streets. Ah to be alive then. Located on Grand Street between Mulberry and Motts, I hope this place can continue to stay afloat for the long run. I have had some desserts here and I have to say, they are quite good. Would I say world famous good?? Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. But I'm also not easily impressed (as I'm sure you can tell from this entire blog). The cannoli was quite good, typical level of pastry to cream filling ratio, not too much and not too little. I also had the opportunity to taste what is known as a Baba Ricotta, which is a rum soaked brioche filled with cannoli cream filling. I am NOT a fan of these. The rum taste was and always is farrr too much for my taste buds, but if you are a beaming alcoholic by all means, go for it. Also they usually always have a stand at the festival, which would be worth attempting if the line wasn't leading you towards the Empire State Building.

Umberto's Clam House-Oh you know, pretty famous since it's been featured a lot in the Sopranos. This institution of Italian seafood was first opened in 1972, and has become a tourist destination (trap) ever since. Obviously located on Mulberry Street, this place is best known for their clams, in any form. I actually have never been here, so you are probably angry that I'm writing about it. But hey, I gotta give you somethingg that isn't a negative portrayal of this neighborhood, right? Right. Oh, and I LOVE baked clams, so I'm sure this would satisfy my needs. Actually, I'm more than sure.

Parm-Surprise! I've never been here either. But I hear beyond GREAT things and must go ASAP so sorry I'm not sorry. These are just recommendations of recommendations ok? Believe in the power of Yelp. and Google. And obviously the lazy blogger. Also located on Mulberry Street (duh, there's only one block left in Little Italy), this place even has an outpost in Yankee Stadium! So you KNOW it's good. A member of the major Italian food enterprise Torrisi, Parm has what is obviously supposed to be the best chicken parm/eggplant parm (my perosnal fav), meatball parm, etc. on a roll/hero. Even Elvis Duran of Z100 loves this place, and if that isn't worth your while, I do not what is my friend. Talking about this is making my mouth salivate.

So there you have it. Little Italy and the San Gennaro Festival. Really the last resort for what Little Italy truly has to offer. Ironically, speaking about the authenticity of this festival has led me to my least authentic and lazy entry to date. I NEVER write about foods from specific places I have yet to try, so I'm sorry? But I am part Italian. and I have had many baked clams. And Chicken parms. And meatballs. And eggplant. Ok you get the point. Maybe I shouldn't be so honest, you may not come back to see me. PLEASE COME BACK. I'll come back to my roots, I promise.

Let's All Go to the County Fair!

Swing ya partner round and round, and eat some fried foods to the groundd!

Ohhh the county fairs. American tradition at its finest. Fried foods at every turn, and fat people at every corner. Made from everything one can dream of. You ever thought eating fried butter was a good idea? What about fried spaghetti and meatballs on a stick?

Fried pickles? How about some fried beer? Alll of this I consumed and more.....except not but I wish that were true.

This past weekend, I decided to go where I'm sure every food blogger has gone before: into the depths of what really gets Americans going. Where the NRA is present and cows are being sold in competitions. Where I went head to head with a billy-goat and saw pigs get auctioned off. Where dogs went jumping into a pool of water and a baboon tried to escape the confines of his cage. I am, of course, talking about the Dutchess County Fair, located in none other than Rhinebeck in upstate NY (Chelsea Clinton was married here, for all you city folk who don't know anything else in NY). Or to me it's upstate, to the rest of NY it may not be. Regardless, this traditional fair has taken place here since 1842, and somehow withstands the changing tides and culture to still be one of the most popular in the country. Of course, this ain't got nothing on the Iowa or Minnesota State Fairs, but for what I could see, I was pretty darn impressed.

Basically, I'm going to give you a rundown of what I ate, tasted, enjoyed, saw, what have you. I ate a lot people, as in Thanksgiving portions of food. Probably the most I've ever eaten in my life, but that's what the fair is all about. Being a glutton and gaining a good 10 lbs (I miraculously gained nothing. I just weighed myself to see like a loser. This is why I eat eat eat), and eating everything in sight without having a care in the world is what going to the fair is all about. I want to go back....

I began my journey through foodie wonderland with a fresh-out-of-the-cow famous 4-H (which is some organization of young farmers....country learning) chocolate milkshake. Basically, I have no idea how I consumed anything else after this. It wasn't too thick, but also not too chocolaty. Pretty much the perfect balance for a shake, since it didn't prevent me from stuffing my face on every other  food item. I then took my shake while scouring the grounds for the most satisfyingly unhealthy yet unique food I could find. Behold: the bacon corn dog.

Should've also had the maple bacon donut dog....
 

The man who worked here had a mustache so large I almost cried and laughed at the same time. Amazingly, I didn't even notice at first that they also had a maple bacon donut dog....I am a failure to foodie culture. So basically, this was a typical corn dog but the hot dog on the inside of the cornmeal was wrapped in bacon. It wasn't the best thing I ate, but also wasn't the worst. Typical carnival food with a twist I say. Whilst consuming this monstrosity, I simultaneously ate a piece of my dad's turkey leg, some fried tempura broccoli, a Bloomin Onion (just like Outback Steakhouse), and Idaho Ribbon Fries, which I had never seen nor tasted before.

Half eaten fried goodness

I figured why not give them a shot, since I can get regular fries anywhere at anytime. They were only different because they were in spirals, and I topped them off with cheese and bacon bits. Healthiest meal in the world. No organics here folks. And that made me happier than one can imagine.

Once I finished about a pound of this food, I gave my stomach a break and walked around a bit. My dad went too hard, and bought some lime fizz (which basically tasted like lime soda....eh) and apple cider donuts, which are definitely going to be my new favorite fall treat (next to a traditional caramel apples and Pumpkin brewskis). They are seriously so delicious I ate about 3 that night and 2 more the following day. I might as well be in the pen with the pigs.

My other favorite part of this fair was the marketplace they had set up, which had so many samples to try, and was obviously necessary after my pound of food. I realized I probably should've started here and ended with everything else, but eh who's keeping track really. They had the usual jams, jellies, zips, lots of garlic based sauces (because apparently these fairgrounds also host a garlic festival...I may be back), beef jerky, and something I never had before: venison. Yes, deer meat.

Try not to think of Bambi. Please.

I had it in the form of a sausage, which apparently had no preservatives or gamey flavor, which I've heard about venison before. It was actually quite good, which scared me a bit. I expected it to be really chewy and hard to handle, but it wasn't at all. These farmers know what they're doing. Looking at Bambi reminds me of why people are vegetarians. Seriously.

As the day rolled on by, my friends and I rode the ferris wheel like true carnies and went for round 2. Because apparently, round 1 wasn't enough food. I started off with a tiny piece of the blackout cake, which is very much like a gooey, chocolaty brownie. I took another small break, and went for the Chocolate Frozen Banana with Sprinkles. I honestly don't know how I ate any of it.

Focus on the largeeee banana. Not me.

My friend then got an order or fries with cheese, and my sister and I split an order of the Polish delicacy Pierogis. Cheese and potato with onions and sour cream to be exact. We washed this all down with some more apple cider donuts and called it a night. I didn't vomit or have a stomachache, so that's good to know.

All in all, this fair was everything and more than I ever imagined it to be. If you ever find yourself stumbling upon the quaint town of Rhinebeck in late August, please attend. It is truly the unhealthy food mecca of the Hudson Valley Region. I may just become a farm girl now....no lies. NYC food trucks are good and all, but nothing compares to the home cooked delicacies of fried carnival foods. Nothing. Now who wants to come to Iowa with me next year?!

Time Out Magazine: Tacos, Tequila, and Grasshoppers? Oh My.

My friend sent me an article from The Village Voice yesterday that had a list of the 10 Worst People in NYC Restaurants. You know what Number 1 was? The Blogger. :Cue the sad, dramatic music.: Instead of fending off this title as the worst of the worst, quitting this blog, and pretending it all never happened, I went to another food event for Time Out Magazine called the NYC Taco Rally. In this lovely space in midtown, I took pictures of the food and asked a ridiculous amount of questions. I also knocked over an extreme amount of business cards because I’m a klutz. Wow, I really am the worst.

This event had it all: tacos with every type of meat and fish, margaritas, water, soda, weird spicy Mexican candy, nachos, and fried grasshoppers. WHAT!? EW. HOW COULD YOU!? I had no idea that I signed up for that, but I tried it anyways. For the sake of being the Number 1 worst person who eats in NYC, I ate fried grasshoppers and lived up to the title. I hate myself more than you do right now, I assure you.

 

In honor of this debacle, I will count down from my least to most favorite dish. Will the grasshopper taco win!? Is she that freaking insane? Read on to find out my little cherubs.

7. El Diablito Taqueria- The original local of this is in the East Village, but I don't think I'll be visiting. I'm going to be honest with y'all-this taco was so unmemorable in comparison to the others I really only know it was a corn tortilla. I don't know what the filling was, I think beef? My friend thought it was corned beef from a can and threw it out without finishing it, so. That's all there is to say about that. They did, however, have a lovely selection of Mexican candy, straight from the source. I had some corn lollipop that had a spicy red seasoning on it, and it wasn't tasty. The caramels were though, and my friend loved some mango lollipop she kept eating for the rest of the night. If all else fails with the tacos, give out interesting candy to keep the people coming. Kudos for that.

6. Toloache- The grasshopper has landed. I am not that insane because it is not even close to number one! I'm glad you all kept the faith. Or so I can only hope. So clearly this place is exquisitely Mexican in every way, because I have literally never heard of or been to a NY restaurant that served bugs. But I mean, I'd be crazier if I had. The owner is famous chef Julian Medina, who also owns Yerba Buena in the city, which I've been dying to try for a while now (but only during restaurant week). The taco itself had crab meat inside, onions, and I mean nothing else really matters since I decided to add on those optional grasshoppers as a topping. I'm not going to lie to you, I didn't hate it. The grasshoppers I mean. They added a crunchy, salty flair to the taco, and I would eat them again. WHO AM I?! Definitely not Andrew Zimmerman. Never say never.

They aren't alive, no worries.

5. Choza Taqueria- This gem of an establishment has two locations: one in the West Village, and another in the Flatiron District. The food is based upon the beachside food stands found in Northern Mexico, which I would know something about if I was more worldly and travelled there. This place had two options, and I got to try them both! Sometimes, I can be lucky. I chose for myself the vegetarian taco option, just because no other place had this and I wanted to experience it all JUST FOR YOU. Be proud of me, please. Because I obviously enjoy the meat options more. So the vegetarian option (on the right) had zucchini, squash, and mushrooms with an avocado salsa and some cheese. It was decent, but not something I would order again and again. Their signature was the carnitas taco, which had braised pork paired with a tomatillo salsa. I realized my deep love for all things pork recently, and I'm not sure whether I should be worried or happy that I can eat a pound of bacon and still want more. Regardless, this meat was divine and if I had solely based this off the carnitas, this place may be higher. But vegetables never win the race in my world.

This is the most appetizing picture I had? Yes.

4. The Bagel Store- I should probably go on some crazy rampage about how a BAGEL STORE is at a Taco Rally, since bagels and tacos are not the same food. Right? Or did someone change the matter of these two items to make them one unit? In regards to the bagel that I ate, I'm pretty sure this occurred. Located in Brooklyn (I promised myself I wouldn't mention the word "hipster" at all), this bagel store has been featured on the Food Network, which to me gives you the utmost credibility. They had 3 different bagels to choose from, including their famous bacon, egg, and cheddar cheese bagel (doesn't belong at a Taco Rally), the tex mex bagel that I consumed, and a Rainbow bagel that had margarita cream cheese. Om nom nommm, this really tasted like a taco in the form of a bagel. Job well done to them. I want to hate, but when something tastes so good, how can I resist!? Plus, I love all forms of cream cheese. Because it's a cheese, and I'm obsessed with cheeses. If that makes sense.


Taco flavored bagel with Mexicali cream cheese.

 3. Mercadito- Having a restaurant in many different locations can mean one of two things in my book: you are just that amazing that you can't possibly stick to one audience, orrr you are a chain and have semi-good to crappy food. Thankfully, Mercadito isn't of the latter. With two NY locations, one in Miami, and another in Chicago, this place is the crème de la crème of fish tacos. The Estilo Baja consisted of beer battered Mahi Mahi (I hope it's an IPA beer! Kidding...sort of), chipotle aioli, and Mexican-style coleslaw. Out of the two fishy tacos that I encountered, this one definitely passed with flying colors. I would definitely go back for more, perhaps in Miami?


Mahi Mahi-or Estilo Baja for the Espanola speakers

2. The Taco Shop-Sometimes, the addition of alcohol to anything brings up a rating. Sorry I'm not sorry. The Taco Shop was actually where I began my night, and I did not leave disappointed. They offered up two different tacos, one being Spicy Chorizo and the other being Chicken Tinga. I had the chorizo, because I'm partially Puerto Rican and love it to its core. The man of the hour was also dishing up some mini margaritas for us to try, with what was probably the cheapest brand of tequila anyone could ever purchase. But who's complaining? I ate the taco, drank my margarita, and sat in total and complete bliss. They are located in the West Village, I got their business card (without being a klutz), and I will most certainly make a triumphant return.

1. La Esquina-We've made it to number 1 without the grasshoppers!! Praisee. Since number 2 involved alcohol, number one is obviously the best because it involved alcohol AND amazing tacos. That combination is lethal. This place has two locations, one in Soho and another in Brooklyn. The taco was called the Carnitas made from pork shoulder, onions, cilantro, and salsa macha. Amazing pork wins my heart again of course. The drink was something made with cheap tequila that wasn't exactly a margarita but pretty much was. And the people working there were lovely. All around winners to me.

I feel bad that I was too busy enjoying these last two foods before thinking about photographing them. I am a failure as a blogger. But at least it maybe makes me less annoying? We'll go with that. Now I have this strong, sudden urge to go to Mexico....

Foods of New York Tours-Chelsea Market & Meatpacking District

You know what's better than eating one meal at one restaurant? Getting tasty tastings (lame attempt at alliteration that really is the same word) from a bunch of different places! I am totally on this kind of samplings kick right now, I guess like eating Tapas except I'm getting the smaller meals at a couple of venues. A couple of weeks (maybe more like months) ago, I did something that mostly only tourists do: went on a food tour in New York. This one happened to be in the Chelsea Market/Meatpacking District area. One would think that many more native New Yorkers or other locals (gotta count Long Island too) would also attend such a wonderful tour, yet, my good friend and I were the only ones from the local area. Because of this fact, I thought that I would basically just eat some free grub and learn nothing new about the area. What would I possibly learn that I didn't already know? Psh I'm not a tourist like the rest of the folks.

Essentially, I learned a lot and had a tour guide that I basically became BFF with. And met a bunch of cool people from Michigan. (Who knew they could be so awesome?) But this isn't a reflection blog, it's allll about the FOOD. Getting on with it:

The seven different places we had tastings from began in Chelsea Market, which wouldn't cha know used to be the Nabisco Company Factory? Oreo artifacts were everywhere! Also, the Food Network is filmed upstairs here. My. Heaven.

Eleni's is the first place we visited within the Chelsea Market venue and was a classic American bakery. Yes, the owner's name is really Eleni and she hails from good old California. I love that we began with dessert, because my highly-planned-ridiculously-non-spontaneous self never eats dessert before the meal. It was a very small, but highly satisfying red velvet cupcake.  I feel as if the cupcake craze that once took over NY and the world has died down a bit (especially with the popularity of the Cronut-which I have yet to try :cries:) but I've still had my fair share of these types of cupcakes. It was good, but not crazy memorable. Of course, our tour guide knew that milk was needed after the dessert. So we moved on towards getting some milk.
Ronny Brook Milk Bar is an offshoot from the farm, which I suppose meant everything came from a real farm and landed in Chelsea Market. Actually, of course it came from a real farm. Sometimes you shouldn't listen to what I say. Anyways, the cows aren't fed hormones so basically the chocolate milk we drank came straight from the utters. Now I feel grossed out, but it was definitely the best chocolate milk I've ever had. Fresh and chocolaty, yet not too heavy. I've also in the past had some type of sandwich here, and it was great so I'd go back for more.
Lucy's Whey is an American Artisinal Cheese Shop that originated in East Hampton (soo fancyyy huh) by Lucy Kazickas, who, like myself, has a passion for cheese. Om nom nom.

So first we tried some pieces of cheese, that I can't remember the names of because this was months ago, but what matters is I loved them. One was definitely cheddar though, in case that helps. Then, finally, after only eating tiny niblets of food for the last 2 stops, we had a whole half of a grilled cheese sandwich that had some fancy honey and fig inside! The bread that we had it on was from Amy's Breads, a French American Bakery that actually has many locations within NYC. The cheese mixed in with the other ingredients was A-MAZ-ING, and the bread was clearly freshly made. How do I know this? Because it didn't taste like store-bought Wonder Bread ok. There were also some olives oils within this little enclave at The Filling Station, so I obviously tasted those as well. Chocolate balsamic vinegar? Who knew it could be so tasty.
Buon Italia is  a wholesale/retail Italian specialty food shop filled with authentic Italian goods that I can't afford. Much like Eataly which deserves an entry of its own. One day, oneee day. Here we sat around a table of plenty and ate as one big, happy, nontraditonal family! We talked about kids, our futures.....no but really we all went around and said where we were from. The lovely people of this place brought us out a big frittata-quiche type dish that had mushrooms inside.

This dish left me wanting more and more and moreee. But I mostly like everything so that doesn't say much. So then we moved onwards.
Tuck Shop is an Australian eatery that specializes in meat pies, which are native to good old Aussie Land. If one has ever heard of Pie Face in the city, this place is basically the same deal. We sampled the pork and sage pie, which, unsurprisingly, I really enjoyed. I wish I was more picky sometimes, and I mean I am, but only about certain things. Food isn't really one of them. I would go to Australia just so I could eat a bunch of these every day, so there's my review.
Chelsea Market Baskets was the second to last stop in Chelsea Market before stepping outside onto the Highline. It is gourmet specialty food shop where I tried some fresh lemonade and chocolate truffles. And some salts with celery as well, which really confused me and made no sense. This was probably my least favorite venture of the tour, just because it was a cluster of random foods put together that didn't match up. My tour guide was REALLY excited for the salts though. But she was mostly excited the entire time.
Sarabeth's Bakery was the last stop (for food) before heading to good old Meatpacking District. This place is a gourmet American bakery, owned and operated by Sarabeth herself and her husband. A noticeable theme in the Chelsea Market is that every name of every place is associated with an actual person of that very name. You would think that's common for most places, yet usually I feel like they're bought out by other people and the families don't stay involved. In case anybody cared to hear my thoughts on that. So here we tried an orange apricot marmalade and I think a strawberry preserves with buttermilk biscuits. Usualllly I am not that big a fan of oranges or apricots, but I actually like this one the best out of the two. Clearly this Sarabeth knows her marmalades.
Morimoto was a surprise stop before we headed over to the Highline and learned all about the Meatpacking District, which one would think I'd know already, but she was just chock full of knowledge I never knew before. What is Morimoto, you ask? And why do you see a picture of a toilet below? Well, Masaharu Morimoto is a Japanese chef, who is best known as an Iron Chef on the Japanese TV cooking show Iron Chef and its spinoff Iron Chef America. So basically, it was pretty amazing that we could even step foot in this establishment, even if no food was served. WORLD FAMOUS. Oh, and we all used the bathroom here and had the best experiences of our lives. These toilets might have been better than all of the food combined.

BEHOLD THE HOLY GRAIL

Sorry for straying from food, but believe me, my experience was just worth it.

Macelleria was sadly the final stop on this amazing tour. While walking over the Highline (which also deserves an entry of itself for the cute eateries nearby) I learned that every sign that is brown in NYC means that you are in an historic district, while the green signs are regular places that I suppose deserve no historical merit. You would think my mind wouldn't have been blown by this fact, but it was. I was just like the people from England at this point. Also, I saw the original dock where the Titanic was supposed to be. Ya learn something new everyyy single day. Anyways, Macelleria (which means "butcher shop" in Italian) is an Italian Steak House that is probably the only not overly pretentious place left in Meatpacking. Funny that a place that used have raw, bloody meats come through its streets is now the most pretentious and over-the-top rich place in Manhattan. Here, we ate some garganelli with oxtail ragu. It was not my first time eating oxtail, so I thoroughly enjoyed it. I guess one could say oxtail tastes like chicken, but that wouldn't really be accurate. Maybe more like a hybrid between chicken and steak.

When we finished we hugged our tour guide because she touched our souls. I miss her still. I highly recommend these tours, and definitely want to try another very, very soon. Not only do you get amazing food, but you also learn new facts about this great city that you may never learn otherwise.

Time Out Magazine-The Best of Chinatown

Why hello all! It has been such a whirlwind couple of weeks, you know, with only looking forward to eating every single day. I have been so busy looking forward to food that I haven't had time to update this! So now, I have a special treat.

Tonight, I decided to attend a very intimate and trying-too-hard-to-be-trendy foodie event by Time Out Magazine-New York called the Best of Chinatown, in which 7 different places located in Chinatown/had Asian influence I suppose (even though the event was in Noho/Soho-same thing) battled it out for first place as the rest of us measly folks stuffed our faces and voted. I felt so important doing this let. me. tell. you.

In honor of this event, I will count down my favorites, from least to best, and also explain a little bit about each place and the food I ate. It's about to get reallll serious in here guys, all joking ASIDE.

7. Mamak. I probably pronounce that wrong. You all do too, don't even lie.
So Mamak is relatively new to the food truck ring. It mostly is located in Brooklyn (hipsters love their cultural gems) and in Manhattan. It offers food with Malaysian and Indian inspired dishes, which to me meant it contained curry. I'm so amazingly cultured, I know. I'm sorry to say, but curry is quite possibly my least favorite food on the planet, next to artichokes. Artichokes alone (not with a dip or mixed with cheese on a pizza) make me want to vomit, curry I can only have in small doses. The strong flavor just does not mesh well with me, and that is the only way I can explain it without sounding like a complete idiot. Anyways, what they served was a Chicken Rendang Curry, which contained chicken in some type of curry seasoning, premium jasmine rice, a hard boiled egg, pineapple achat, sambal chili, papadum, & seedless cucumber. Basically, I have no idea what any of what I just said means except for the hard boiled egg and rice. Just rice, not premium jasmine. But what do you expect, I was at a "foodie" event. So since this was number 7, I really just didn't like it because of the curry. But let me give them props where they are due, because in comparison to all the other vendors, they really gave a TON of food. They even had samplings of some curry puff which I actually liked, so I expect good things from them.

6. Mimi and Coco. Their slogan is "Japanese Street Food-New York Style." Isn't this supposed to be the Best of Chinatown? It should be called the Best of Asia with a New York influence, because I'm pretty sure I only ate one authentically historic Chinese dish. With everyone trying so hard to be politically correct, they are truly messing this one up. But moving along, they served Teriyaki Balls, which honestly didn't taste like Teriyaki. Maybe I'm too used to Americanized Japanese, who knows anymore. So anyways, these Teryiyaki balls are supposed to be a New York version of a Japanese comfort food called Takoyaki, and had fillings of shrimp, ORGANIC potato (foodie hipster event) and country sausage. I went with shrimp, because what the hell do you mean by country sausage when this is inspired by New York City? And I'm not an organic kind of girl. So eh, bleh, meh, it wasn't anything special to me. Did I feel comfort? No. Probably because I'm used to Ammurican comfort foods, because let's be real, who can compete with that?

5. Nom Wah Tea Parlor. Guys, this is authenticity at its finest. And I realllly wanted this to be my favorite, but sigh, having a Best of Chinatown with only one true Chinatown establishment diminishes this place in the competition for the best of the best. Really it should make it the best of the best, simply on the principle that it is TRUE CHINATOWN since 1920's NYC. But no, I had other options and sometimes I fall for gimmicks so this wasn't picked. Nom Wah Tea Parlor was the very first Dim Sum parlor established in NYC located on Doyers Street, which back in the day was a hardcore place for street battles for the Gangs of Chinatown. Today, it is still standing amongst the crowd as one of the best places to get real, true Cantonese Dim Sum. What they served was one small Shrimp Sui Mai. Ya know, I have to hand it to them for their simplicity. They have no gimmick, no trying-too-hard-to-be-trendy thing going on. They know who they are, and they have stuck with it. For that, I give them a round of applause. The Shrimp Sui Mai was delicious, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't awestruck by it. But perhaps that's the point. Either way, they land at number 5. And I'd check them out again simply for their historical merit. Oh, and the fact that they are really located in Chinatown.

4. Outer Borough. Reps the hood of Queens. That's funny, since they are located in BROOKLYN. Since they attend SMORGASBURG. Maybe ya'll are from Queens, but you can't be making people go to hipster town when Queens is the only genuine place left in this city. Give it a little love! It'll love you back, I promise. Ok, so they also attend LIC Flea and are from Flushing. I guesss I can forgive them for showing Brooklyn some love. Sigh. Just for that they should be number 7, but I actually liked what they served so. They describe themselves as serving Taiwanese Comfort Food, but again, I didn't feel comforted. They served a Shaved Ice that included Green Tea Ice cream, condensed milk (as the shaved ice part), with red beans and peanuts on top. Pretty standard Chinese dessert, I'll give them that (I'm really not as picky as I sound). It was refreshing after all the meat I ate, so kudos to them. I always wish the Queens people success.

Already half eaten. But gets the point across.

3. Empies. This place is an empanada company located in. wait for it. QUEENS. But...empandas you say? That food is NOT Chinese. This isn't my fault guys. I was expecting authentic Chinese. But is anything authentic in New York anymore? Let's leave that as a rhetorical question. Anyways, I suppose they were chosen for this since they have a delectable Asian-influenced empanada called the Flushtown, in honor of Flushing, Queens (basically the second China of the world). It included bulgogi, a type of scrumptious beef, mozzarella cheese, and kimchi. I loveee me some empanadas, so although this only had ingredients that were Asian, I thought it was great. Queens it where my heart is.

2. Hong Kong Street Cart. This cart is inspired by Asian influences, and usually is at various other food events like Madison Square Eats and such. They served the Pork Belly Bun. Pork Belly buns are always delicious. No matter what, no matter where, I thoroughly enjoy them. I had the true ones at Momofuku, and although those are top notch, these definitely came in a close second. They include braised pork belly, hoisin sauce, thinly sliced cucumber, and chopped scallions in a cute little bun. Good stuff my friends. If you don't try it here, go to Momofuku. David Chang won't be let down.

Numero Uno

That's right ya'll. Ay ay ayyy. Colombian wins! America reigns supreme! This is truly not a democracy for this place to exist at a Best of Chinatown event. It's located in the Lower East Side. I feel awful even having them here. But I liked it. No, I loved it. And they WERE at the event, so they won. The people handing out the food were my favorites as well. Ugh the world is truly not fair. and THIS is why New York City has no authenticity anymore. Guess that question wasn't rhetorical. Regardless, if you can't beat em, join em. So I joined, and consumed this:

Hot dogs with chili, mac and cheese, and fritos. WHAT!?

Let's not get carried away here, I didn't eat all three. Just one was good enough to fill my needs.

Guys, I fell for a gimmick. A hipster, no good, not-even-inspired-by-real-Asian-food gimmick. I am so disappointed in myself. Only a fool wouldn't choose a real Chinese place to win number one in a Best of Chinatown competition, but Time Out created this mess! So blame the starters! I simply went for the tastings and beer. And for something to write about. Really what I'm trying to say is, if you want real Chinese, go to Nom Wah Tea Parlor. Actually, go to Flushing. Go to Queens. That's where the authenticity remains.