Time Out Magazine-The Best of Chinatown

Why hello all! It has been such a whirlwind couple of weeks, you know, with only looking forward to eating every single day. I have been so busy looking forward to food that I haven't had time to update this! So now, I have a special treat.

Tonight, I decided to attend a very intimate and trying-too-hard-to-be-trendy foodie event by Time Out Magazine-New York called the Best of Chinatown, in which 7 different places located in Chinatown/had Asian influence I suppose (even though the event was in Noho/Soho-same thing) battled it out for first place as the rest of us measly folks stuffed our faces and voted. I felt so important doing this let. me. tell. you.

In honor of this event, I will count down my favorites, from least to best, and also explain a little bit about each place and the food I ate. It's about to get reallll serious in here guys, all joking ASIDE.

7. Mamak. I probably pronounce that wrong. You all do too, don't even lie.
So Mamak is relatively new to the food truck ring. It mostly is located in Brooklyn (hipsters love their cultural gems) and in Manhattan. It offers food with Malaysian and Indian inspired dishes, which to me meant it contained curry. I'm so amazingly cultured, I know. I'm sorry to say, but curry is quite possibly my least favorite food on the planet, next to artichokes. Artichokes alone (not with a dip or mixed with cheese on a pizza) make me want to vomit, curry I can only have in small doses. The strong flavor just does not mesh well with me, and that is the only way I can explain it without sounding like a complete idiot. Anyways, what they served was a Chicken Rendang Curry, which contained chicken in some type of curry seasoning, premium jasmine rice, a hard boiled egg, pineapple achat, sambal chili, papadum, & seedless cucumber. Basically, I have no idea what any of what I just said means except for the hard boiled egg and rice. Just rice, not premium jasmine. But what do you expect, I was at a "foodie" event. So since this was number 7, I really just didn't like it because of the curry. But let me give them props where they are due, because in comparison to all the other vendors, they really gave a TON of food. They even had samplings of some curry puff which I actually liked, so I expect good things from them.

6. Mimi and Coco. Their slogan is "Japanese Street Food-New York Style." Isn't this supposed to be the Best of Chinatown? It should be called the Best of Asia with a New York influence, because I'm pretty sure I only ate one authentically historic Chinese dish. With everyone trying so hard to be politically correct, they are truly messing this one up. But moving along, they served Teriyaki Balls, which honestly didn't taste like Teriyaki. Maybe I'm too used to Americanized Japanese, who knows anymore. So anyways, these Teryiyaki balls are supposed to be a New York version of a Japanese comfort food called Takoyaki, and had fillings of shrimp, ORGANIC potato (foodie hipster event) and country sausage. I went with shrimp, because what the hell do you mean by country sausage when this is inspired by New York City? And I'm not an organic kind of girl. So eh, bleh, meh, it wasn't anything special to me. Did I feel comfort? No. Probably because I'm used to Ammurican comfort foods, because let's be real, who can compete with that?

5. Nom Wah Tea Parlor. Guys, this is authenticity at its finest. And I realllly wanted this to be my favorite, but sigh, having a Best of Chinatown with only one true Chinatown establishment diminishes this place in the competition for the best of the best. Really it should make it the best of the best, simply on the principle that it is TRUE CHINATOWN since 1920's NYC. But no, I had other options and sometimes I fall for gimmicks so this wasn't picked. Nom Wah Tea Parlor was the very first Dim Sum parlor established in NYC located on Doyers Street, which back in the day was a hardcore place for street battles for the Gangs of Chinatown. Today, it is still standing amongst the crowd as one of the best places to get real, true Cantonese Dim Sum. What they served was one small Shrimp Sui Mai. Ya know, I have to hand it to them for their simplicity. They have no gimmick, no trying-too-hard-to-be-trendy thing going on. They know who they are, and they have stuck with it. For that, I give them a round of applause. The Shrimp Sui Mai was delicious, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't awestruck by it. But perhaps that's the point. Either way, they land at number 5. And I'd check them out again simply for their historical merit. Oh, and the fact that they are really located in Chinatown.

4. Outer Borough. Reps the hood of Queens. That's funny, since they are located in BROOKLYN. Since they attend SMORGASBURG. Maybe ya'll are from Queens, but you can't be making people go to hipster town when Queens is the only genuine place left in this city. Give it a little love! It'll love you back, I promise. Ok, so they also attend LIC Flea and are from Flushing. I guesss I can forgive them for showing Brooklyn some love. Sigh. Just for that they should be number 7, but I actually liked what they served so. They describe themselves as serving Taiwanese Comfort Food, but again, I didn't feel comforted. They served a Shaved Ice that included Green Tea Ice cream, condensed milk (as the shaved ice part), with red beans and peanuts on top. Pretty standard Chinese dessert, I'll give them that (I'm really not as picky as I sound). It was refreshing after all the meat I ate, so kudos to them. I always wish the Queens people success.

Already half eaten. But gets the point across.

3. Empies. This place is an empanada company located in. wait for it. QUEENS. But...empandas you say? That food is NOT Chinese. This isn't my fault guys. I was expecting authentic Chinese. But is anything authentic in New York anymore? Let's leave that as a rhetorical question. Anyways, I suppose they were chosen for this since they have a delectable Asian-influenced empanada called the Flushtown, in honor of Flushing, Queens (basically the second China of the world). It included bulgogi, a type of scrumptious beef, mozzarella cheese, and kimchi. I loveee me some empanadas, so although this only had ingredients that were Asian, I thought it was great. Queens it where my heart is.

2. Hong Kong Street Cart. This cart is inspired by Asian influences, and usually is at various other food events like Madison Square Eats and such. They served the Pork Belly Bun. Pork Belly buns are always delicious. No matter what, no matter where, I thoroughly enjoy them. I had the true ones at Momofuku, and although those are top notch, these definitely came in a close second. They include braised pork belly, hoisin sauce, thinly sliced cucumber, and chopped scallions in a cute little bun. Good stuff my friends. If you don't try it here, go to Momofuku. David Chang won't be let down.

Numero Uno

That's right ya'll. Ay ay ayyy. Colombian wins! America reigns supreme! This is truly not a democracy for this place to exist at a Best of Chinatown event. It's located in the Lower East Side. I feel awful even having them here. But I liked it. No, I loved it. And they WERE at the event, so they won. The people handing out the food were my favorites as well. Ugh the world is truly not fair. and THIS is why New York City has no authenticity anymore. Guess that question wasn't rhetorical. Regardless, if you can't beat em, join em. So I joined, and consumed this:

Hot dogs with chili, mac and cheese, and fritos. WHAT!?

Let's not get carried away here, I didn't eat all three. Just one was good enough to fill my needs.

Guys, I fell for a gimmick. A hipster, no good, not-even-inspired-by-real-Asian-food gimmick. I am so disappointed in myself. Only a fool wouldn't choose a real Chinese place to win number one in a Best of Chinatown competition, but Time Out created this mess! So blame the starters! I simply went for the tastings and beer. And for something to write about. Really what I'm trying to say is, if you want real Chinese, go to Nom Wah Tea Parlor. Actually, go to Flushing. Go to Queens. That's where the authenticity remains.