The Best and Worsts of 2013 Food Trends

I suck at this blog. No really, I discover things I want to write about and then get caught up in other monotonous activities like Facebook stalking that enable me to forget this exists. To start, I'm a "worst" and need to make a resolution to keep this going for the new year, since I'm SURE everyone who reads looks forward to each and every entry. Right? Let's just pretend this is true,

So 2013 has brought us, if you can believe it, even MORE foodie pretentiousness than ever before. I thought the cupcake trend was bad, but this year has unraveled some of the most insane obsessions that food has ever seen!! Dramatic much? Maybe. But really, how can one top a year where the Ramen Burger AND the Cronut caused lines longer than Walmart on Black Friday?

Insanity

Too bad I never got the chance to try either of them because I have no patience and am not a true food critic, but alas, I will judge all of this anyways. Because this is my blog and I do what I want.

The Best: I love the whole crazy burger thing that happened this year. Ramen burger for the win! Not that I'm never adventurous with food, but with burgers I'm way more likely to let them put anything and everything on it. Burgers with bacon, avocado, and bleu cheese? Why not? Bison with pineapple on top? Let's give it a shot. So many different burger places have opened in NY and across the country over the course of the year, and I've actually tried out a lot of them. And each time, I like experiencing something different. I wouldn't stand on line for that Ramen burger, but it intrigues me and looks delicious, so it can stay. Oh and it also spawned the mac & cheese burger. Enough said.

What could be better?

The Worst: Cronuts. Ok so I haven't tried one. I have no say. I couldn't possibly understand why it's worth it to stand on line for 10 hours only to discover Dominique Ansel has sold out of this croissant/donut hybrid. I'm sure it's delicious, I'm sure people are copying this so much because it's just thatttt great. I love a sugar inducing coma as much as the next person, but this trend has been taken to new heights. At least burgers can remain ever-changing and unique in most settings, very versatile if you will, but the cronut is the cronut, The knockoffs cannot and will not do it better than Dominique Ansel, just like the 10 dolla bag guys selling knock off Gucci. It doesn't work when it comes to this dessert, because he is the original creator and nobody can do that better. Just like whoever started the first food blog, definitely the best that there is and I am the equivalent of a poor knockoff. 

Don't even try

The Best: Barbeque. Many blogs are hating on the fact that these have sprung up in abundance over the past year, but I have tried many and am loving it. Of course, I've meant to write an entry solely on BBQ and i got lazy and forgot. Shame shame. Mighty Quinn's, Delaney's, and Dino BBQ and just some of the ones I have experienced this year alone, and they've all made me feel like the south has come to NY, which is obviously what I like to see. Brisket, ribs, all smothered in smoky, tangy sauce, what's not to love? If it grows any bigger it may become a bit much since this isn't Texas, nor do I want it to be, but for now I'm ok with it.

Gimme some of that brisket

The Worst: Small plates. Really, these are already somewhat dead, but some places don't seem to be getting the hint. If you aren't selling Spanish tapas, there's really no point. And even with tapas, which I love as much as I could, but it's simply not filling when you must spend 10 bucks for two small croquettes. 12 dollars for a tiny bit of chicken. It just leaves my stomach wanting more and my pockets empty, which is probably the whole point. I think places may be starting to get the point, since I haven't seen this grow anymore than it has.

Not even a baby would eat this

The Best: Doritos locos tacos, or just the Doritos inspired taste craze in general. I finally tried this delectable treat at Taco Bell this past month, although not the cool ranch flavor, and I must say, it truly lived up to the name. As I've said before, cheese goes well with just about everything, so a taco flavored cheese shell does the meat inside some justice. It would probably be somewhat weird and become a worst if this goes well beyond taco bell, but hey, anything is possible.

Heaven

The Worst: Sriracha. I'm probably going to get penalized and killed for this, but I hate hot sauce. So that's why I don't like this trend. MY BLOG, MY RULES. It's mostly used in Asian dishes, which also seems to be a hot trend that is never waning. They made flavored chips out of this? Going a tadddd too far. I'm sure it's amazing and great if you enjoy hot sauce, but for me personally, it can stay in the vault.  SORRY.

Spicy Galore

Here's to hoping 2014 brings me more food trucks, and a better ability to keep this up. Now I'm going to play the trumpet while eating too much food. Salud y'all.

Gobble Gobble!

Ready to surrender

Happy Thanksgiving! Thanksgivikkah, however you want to celebrate the grandest, most festive day in food preparation! An entire holiday that centers around a feast! America at its finest, celebrating Pilgrims and Native Americans joining together to be thankful for one land, while only one group ends up surviving. But back to the positivity. A marathon of food consumption until one must unbutton their pants and lay in a food coma. So obviously, naturally, this gluttonous affair is my main squeeze. As I write, I am stuffed by the food that is still largely in my belly. I am thankful for this blog that allows you all to see how gluttonous I can be, and that I have been able to over-consume food that pretty much has no nutritional value whatsoever, while people now shop for materials that have no value whatsoever. What a grand land this is!

As I dwell on the food that's now gone away, I will count down my top 5 favorite traditional Thanksgiving foods, that will not include cranberry sauce, because really people, who LIKES cranberry sauce!? If it ain't made from scratch, it comes out of a can in nasty circles of red jelly flesh that never EVER get eaten by who I'm with. But maybe my family is just too good for that kind of thing.

YUM....appetizing

5. Turkey- The truest meat of the Thanksgiving table of plenty, the turkey represents......America? Gluttony? Our forefathers? I really have no idea, perhaps the Bald Eagle should be the bird we consume, except nobody eats them and that would be strange to see on the table of plenty. So the turkey it is, and the only reason why I enjoy this is because of the skin. The fatty, oily, crispy, skin is one of my favorite foods in the entire world. Give me the skin of any animal that we eat and I will enjoy the skin to the fullest of extents. Talking about this might be making me hungry again when I thought I wouldn't eat for days....

Show me the skinn

4. Carrot souffle- Ok so perhaps this isn't exactly traditional, unless it was made with sweet potatoes, but despite popular belief, I am not a loyalist. I make a mean carrot souffle, because as a food blogger, I have to sometimes promote myself and my cooking skills. So here it is. Made with carrots, which is the only healthy ingredient, and a whole lotta sugar and butter, you get a dish that beats out any sweet potato with marshmallows (which have I said I hate?) combination you may have. And thus, it has become a staple at my Thanksgiving table, brought down by my Aunt who does the same.

Decadent.

3. Lasagna- If you don't eat lasagna or baked ziti or some form of pasta after the soup/salad portion of the billion course meal, you are missing out my friends. Is it traditional? Perhaps not. It is freaking delicious and satisfying? Absolutely. And for my family, even the non Italian side, it is traditional. As it will always be, because cheese and sauce always win in my book. Always.

2. Stuffing-I used to hate stuffing. Like absolutely despise stuffing. For years as a young foodie beginning to discover my distinct (and now noncommittal) palette, I would attempt to try this dish every year. I laugh at that young girl who actually looked at more foods than I do now with disdain, for she was able to choose between options and not stuff her face entirely because she likes everything. (Like the wonderful person I am today). Ah yes, but year after year, my palette would not accept the flavors associated with stuffing. I like to think this was because I had an affinity for richer tasting foods, that I somehow lost in college when I was forced to eat anything remotely food-like from near poverty and appreciated all that I had. And in that appreciation came a love and (finally!) a fancy for stuffing. Especially one with sausage, and the one that I ate tonight (shout out to my cuzz) because that adds an extra flavor kick. Who knew pieces of bread with some spices and veggies could one day because my 2nd favorite Thanksgiving food? I could see my younger self cringing at the thought.

1. Pumpkin/Butternut squash/Soups- How typical. My favorite part of the meal WOULD be the first course. Where your stomach isn't inflating like a balloon, you are still just tipsy enough to enjoy the food but not want to vomit it up, and your taste buds are raging because in my family, we never eat until 8:00, 7:30 if one is lucky. So as always, the first course is always soup/salad, and I LOVE me so traditional Thanksgiving soups. The veggies are always used in a way that doesn't overtake the creamy taste, nor make it seem too healthy. Always made from the freshest of ingredients, with lots of heavy cream, I always scarf it down and then lick the bowl clean, and then proceed to lick other bowls clean, because remember how I have no shame?? Ok I'm lying, about the licking other bowls clean part, because I have done this to my own bowl. Stop judging me.

Too busy licking my bowl for a real picture....

Would it be too much to say I'm almost hungry again? Is that humanly possible after this monstrosity of a plate? You be the judge. Happy Thanksgiving!

I swear kept my dignity

Candy Should be its Own Food Group (Halloween Edition)

Boo! Did I scare you? Did I perhaps fool you since no true, uptight food blogger would actually want to consider CANDY a food group!? That's for the peasants who think candy corn is the best! (No offense dear friends with a love of this...that I will never understand)

Not appealing to the eye

For me, and every other person who celebrates this holiday unless you have no soul,  Halloween is all about the candy, the GOOD candy, not that fruity crap that people think is candy. Ok, it's candy, but I'm not a fan. No, rich woman with a large, white home, I do not want mints or lifesavers. I want the chocolate! Give me caramel! I want my teeth to struggle with the cavities being inflicted upon them!

In honor of this day full of treats and tricks, but I'm only in it for the treats, I will now count down my top 5 favorite Halloween candies. It is almost a guarantee that you will not find Swedish fish, gummy bears, and especially not CANDY CORN. Sorry. Except not.

5. Snickers- You know what's great about snickers? That people with large homes that weren't run by older ladies would give out HUGE FOOT LONG BARS.

Hungry? GRAB A SNICKERS

Was that not the best thing in the world? Or only the best thing in my world? Caramel and peanuts and chocolate?? Pretty much the top three best combinations of combinations ever invented, except I also need a crunch factor.

4. Kit Kat-Gimme a break, gimme a break. Just for their little commercial jingle, I love kit kats. And for the fact that they consist of the perfect amount of chocolate and crunch with the wafer bar underneath. But they aren't good enough for the top 3. Tragic.

3. Nestle Crunch-One could say these are boring, nothing candies full of chocolate and krispy crunchies (or maybe only I would use the word "crunchies") but I used to get so excited when these were in my little pumpkin bucket. And pillow case. Perhaps in college one year....but who's to say. I just love the crunch factor...hence the name.

2. Reese's Pieces Peanut Butter Cups- I love peanut butter. I love peanut butter. I cannot get enough of my peanut butter. Peanut M&Ms would've been included if I made a top 10, but as I'm sure all have concluded by now, I am the laziest food blogger ever. These peanut butter cups are pure perfection. Just enough chocolate on the outside to savor the peanutty butter on the inside. I could eat one every day and be totally satisfied. When Reese's pieces came out, they did not measure up to my butter cups. But Reese's pieces cereal (which probably isn't sold anymore due to everyone being a health food fanatic)  was quite possibly the most delicious, memorable cereal I've had had. Along with my number one, I could eat these all day every day. If it wasn't unhealthy since society now realizes how fat I will become.

OM NOMM NOM

1. Twix

Welcome to the GOLDEN HOLY GRAIL

Everyone I know loves twix. I don't know a single soul who doesn't love twix. If you don't like twix, you don't deserve Halloween candy. Am I a bit much? Maybe. But that's how much I love twix. The buttery, crunchy biscuit with the caramel and chocolate literally makes me sing with joy.

I hope everyone also gets bubble gum, peanut M&M's, milky ways, and anything else that has peanut butter (100 Grands!) because they all deserve honorable mentions.

Also, as a wise man once told me, "Goodnight, sleep tight, and don't have a fright, and remember, always keep on the light."

Oktoberfest-Svholentnk (Not real German, but pretty damn close no?)

I've taken a hiatus from this blog, and I wish I could say it's because I've been nonstop stuffing my face with beer, bratwurst, and dancing around in lederhosen.

(The last part may or may not be true....but that's my little secret). But alas, it's not. Instead I've been lazy and eating foods that I haven't written about. But get excited because that changes with this very entry!

October is part of the autumnal season that I so appropriately enjoy, mostly for the pumpkin flavored everything and hot apple cider. Don't think I'm one of those girls who obsess over the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte though, because I will consider that an insult to my eloquent, intrinsic foodie knowledge. No true foodie likes a pumpkin spice latte.....or so we will say. Most of all, people are beginning to enjoy October for the stolen German celebration of Oktoberfest. Americans have taken this festival and run with it in true American over-the-top fashion, much like they take St. Patrick's Day and make every food you can imagine green with that Irish (American) pride.
 

Only am American would have a belly like that.

I wish I could say I have been to Germany to experience this festival of drunken buffoonery for myself, but I have not. Instead, I attended a local celebration in the mountains of Hunter, or upstate New York for all the Long Islanders who have never been above the Bronx. Here, I consumed some "authentic" German delicacies that I will now speak of and have nothing to compare them too. MY OPINION IS VALUABLE. I promise you.

When In Rome, one must try what the local customs are known for. Except in this case, change Rome to an American ski resort that is emulating a German village. There were multiple little trucks, or food stands, selling typical German fare, as well as BBQ and burgers because we must never forget where we came from. My family likes to try new things, and I have an image to uphold, so we went with the German fare. I got a traditional bratwurst roll (Bratwurst is made with pork and spices. Add a little mustard and you are good to go) with a side of German potato salad, a beer (in this case it's food), German potato pancakes with some applesauce, and :drum-roll please: Leberkase. Or a German meatloaf. Or really spam because that is what it looked and tasted like. But I ate it anyways because I have no shame. And because my dad refused to. Again, I have no shame.

Glorified? Spam

In essence, German food is nothing to rave about. Sausages are always tasty, I enjoy anything with potatoes, but I mean, there's not much more to it. Of course, I basically ate the equivalent of German carnival food, but we can't all travel the world with first class delicacies, so this was the best i could do. Whatever you do, have some shame unlike myself and DON'T EAT THE LEBERKASE.

Eat this instead. This may not be much better....

   

San Gennaro: Little Italy's Last Resort

It's that time of year again folks. The smell of Sausage and Peppers is in the air. All of downtown is in a traffic lock. New Yorkers with fake Italian accents are trying to get you into their Mulberry Street restaurants. Cannolis are being sold for 6 bucks a piece. Paella is being sold at an Italian festival. Snooki and the cast of Jersey Shore grace all memorabilia.

Probably not a real Italian.

I can only be talking about the one and only San Gennaro Festival. The feast of all feasts (in existence for 87 years) that has truly turned from an Italian's paradise into an overpriced non-authentic stereotype that's too strong even for me to bare. This due to the fact that I am part Italian and actually enjoy this aspect of my very multicultural heritage. What used to be the crowned gem of Lower Manhattan has been taken over by a much larger Chinatown and Soho with people that aren't really Italian. This isn't to say they shouldn't still celebrate this feast and all that it does have to offer, but over the years that I have attended I have just found myself more disappointed with what it puts out into the world. Mozzarella Pies? I could get that a regular old carnival. Six dollar desserts? I could go to my local Italian bakery and get just as good ones for much cheaper. And why in the world are you selling Spanish Paella at an Italian Festival?? Trying to fool those who are ignorant? I get that this is, in a way, a tourist trap of sorts now, but I just wish it could still represent what it set out to do years ago when it started: show people the true nature of Italian food, culture, and the people. And essentially be a religious tribute to San Gennaro instead of a food coma block party (for all you heathens ruining the world out there). Please know I'm joking because I love me a good food coma.

The best part about being Italian

Although I sound like I've been sippin of some San Gennaro haterade, there are some gems left in this quaint part of town that can still be worth your while. Not that San Gennaro is not. I would say it's worth it just to see, but you may or may not want to return. Depending how much money you think a great Sausage and Peppers and cannoli are worth (Answer: not an extreme amount). Also do not assume that the authentic Italian way is what is being portrayed, because again, a lot of it is just touristy stereotypes (Jersey Shore being reason enough).

Ferrara Bakery & Cafe- This famous Little Italy spot was founded in 1892 when the gangs of the New York mafioso ran the streets. Ah to be alive then. Located on Grand Street between Mulberry and Motts, I hope this place can continue to stay afloat for the long run. I have had some desserts here and I have to say, they are quite good. Would I say world famous good?? Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. But I'm also not easily impressed (as I'm sure you can tell from this entire blog). The cannoli was quite good, typical level of pastry to cream filling ratio, not too much and not too little. I also had the opportunity to taste what is known as a Baba Ricotta, which is a rum soaked brioche filled with cannoli cream filling. I am NOT a fan of these. The rum taste was and always is farrr too much for my taste buds, but if you are a beaming alcoholic by all means, go for it. Also they usually always have a stand at the festival, which would be worth attempting if the line wasn't leading you towards the Empire State Building.

Umberto's Clam House-Oh you know, pretty famous since it's been featured a lot in the Sopranos. This institution of Italian seafood was first opened in 1972, and has become a tourist destination (trap) ever since. Obviously located on Mulberry Street, this place is best known for their clams, in any form. I actually have never been here, so you are probably angry that I'm writing about it. But hey, I gotta give you somethingg that isn't a negative portrayal of this neighborhood, right? Right. Oh, and I LOVE baked clams, so I'm sure this would satisfy my needs. Actually, I'm more than sure.

Parm-Surprise! I've never been here either. But I hear beyond GREAT things and must go ASAP so sorry I'm not sorry. These are just recommendations of recommendations ok? Believe in the power of Yelp. and Google. And obviously the lazy blogger. Also located on Mulberry Street (duh, there's only one block left in Little Italy), this place even has an outpost in Yankee Stadium! So you KNOW it's good. A member of the major Italian food enterprise Torrisi, Parm has what is obviously supposed to be the best chicken parm/eggplant parm (my perosnal fav), meatball parm, etc. on a roll/hero. Even Elvis Duran of Z100 loves this place, and if that isn't worth your while, I do not what is my friend. Talking about this is making my mouth salivate.

So there you have it. Little Italy and the San Gennaro Festival. Really the last resort for what Little Italy truly has to offer. Ironically, speaking about the authenticity of this festival has led me to my least authentic and lazy entry to date. I NEVER write about foods from specific places I have yet to try, so I'm sorry? But I am part Italian. and I have had many baked clams. And Chicken parms. And meatballs. And eggplant. Ok you get the point. Maybe I shouldn't be so honest, you may not come back to see me. PLEASE COME BACK. I'll come back to my roots, I promise.

Let's All Go to the County Fair!

Swing ya partner round and round, and eat some fried foods to the groundd!

Ohhh the county fairs. American tradition at its finest. Fried foods at every turn, and fat people at every corner. Made from everything one can dream of. You ever thought eating fried butter was a good idea? What about fried spaghetti and meatballs on a stick?

Fried pickles? How about some fried beer? Alll of this I consumed and more.....except not but I wish that were true.

This past weekend, I decided to go where I'm sure every food blogger has gone before: into the depths of what really gets Americans going. Where the NRA is present and cows are being sold in competitions. Where I went head to head with a billy-goat and saw pigs get auctioned off. Where dogs went jumping into a pool of water and a baboon tried to escape the confines of his cage. I am, of course, talking about the Dutchess County Fair, located in none other than Rhinebeck in upstate NY (Chelsea Clinton was married here, for all you city folk who don't know anything else in NY). Or to me it's upstate, to the rest of NY it may not be. Regardless, this traditional fair has taken place here since 1842, and somehow withstands the changing tides and culture to still be one of the most popular in the country. Of course, this ain't got nothing on the Iowa or Minnesota State Fairs, but for what I could see, I was pretty darn impressed.

Basically, I'm going to give you a rundown of what I ate, tasted, enjoyed, saw, what have you. I ate a lot people, as in Thanksgiving portions of food. Probably the most I've ever eaten in my life, but that's what the fair is all about. Being a glutton and gaining a good 10 lbs (I miraculously gained nothing. I just weighed myself to see like a loser. This is why I eat eat eat), and eating everything in sight without having a care in the world is what going to the fair is all about. I want to go back....

I began my journey through foodie wonderland with a fresh-out-of-the-cow famous 4-H (which is some organization of young farmers....country learning) chocolate milkshake. Basically, I have no idea how I consumed anything else after this. It wasn't too thick, but also not too chocolaty. Pretty much the perfect balance for a shake, since it didn't prevent me from stuffing my face on every other  food item. I then took my shake while scouring the grounds for the most satisfyingly unhealthy yet unique food I could find. Behold: the bacon corn dog.

Should've also had the maple bacon donut dog....
 

The man who worked here had a mustache so large I almost cried and laughed at the same time. Amazingly, I didn't even notice at first that they also had a maple bacon donut dog....I am a failure to foodie culture. So basically, this was a typical corn dog but the hot dog on the inside of the cornmeal was wrapped in bacon. It wasn't the best thing I ate, but also wasn't the worst. Typical carnival food with a twist I say. Whilst consuming this monstrosity, I simultaneously ate a piece of my dad's turkey leg, some fried tempura broccoli, a Bloomin Onion (just like Outback Steakhouse), and Idaho Ribbon Fries, which I had never seen nor tasted before.

Half eaten fried goodness

I figured why not give them a shot, since I can get regular fries anywhere at anytime. They were only different because they were in spirals, and I topped them off with cheese and bacon bits. Healthiest meal in the world. No organics here folks. And that made me happier than one can imagine.

Once I finished about a pound of this food, I gave my stomach a break and walked around a bit. My dad went too hard, and bought some lime fizz (which basically tasted like lime soda....eh) and apple cider donuts, which are definitely going to be my new favorite fall treat (next to a traditional caramel apples and Pumpkin brewskis). They are seriously so delicious I ate about 3 that night and 2 more the following day. I might as well be in the pen with the pigs.

My other favorite part of this fair was the marketplace they had set up, which had so many samples to try, and was obviously necessary after my pound of food. I realized I probably should've started here and ended with everything else, but eh who's keeping track really. They had the usual jams, jellies, zips, lots of garlic based sauces (because apparently these fairgrounds also host a garlic festival...I may be back), beef jerky, and something I never had before: venison. Yes, deer meat.

Try not to think of Bambi. Please.

I had it in the form of a sausage, which apparently had no preservatives or gamey flavor, which I've heard about venison before. It was actually quite good, which scared me a bit. I expected it to be really chewy and hard to handle, but it wasn't at all. These farmers know what they're doing. Looking at Bambi reminds me of why people are vegetarians. Seriously.

As the day rolled on by, my friends and I rode the ferris wheel like true carnies and went for round 2. Because apparently, round 1 wasn't enough food. I started off with a tiny piece of the blackout cake, which is very much like a gooey, chocolaty brownie. I took another small break, and went for the Chocolate Frozen Banana with Sprinkles. I honestly don't know how I ate any of it.

Focus on the largeeee banana. Not me.

My friend then got an order or fries with cheese, and my sister and I split an order of the Polish delicacy Pierogis. Cheese and potato with onions and sour cream to be exact. We washed this all down with some more apple cider donuts and called it a night. I didn't vomit or have a stomachache, so that's good to know.

All in all, this fair was everything and more than I ever imagined it to be. If you ever find yourself stumbling upon the quaint town of Rhinebeck in late August, please attend. It is truly the unhealthy food mecca of the Hudson Valley Region. I may just become a farm girl now....no lies. NYC food trucks are good and all, but nothing compares to the home cooked delicacies of fried carnival foods. Nothing. Now who wants to come to Iowa with me next year?!

Time Out Magazine: Tacos, Tequila, and Grasshoppers? Oh My.

My friend sent me an article from The Village Voice yesterday that had a list of the 10 Worst People in NYC Restaurants. You know what Number 1 was? The Blogger. :Cue the sad, dramatic music.: Instead of fending off this title as the worst of the worst, quitting this blog, and pretending it all never happened, I went to another food event for Time Out Magazine called the NYC Taco Rally. In this lovely space in midtown, I took pictures of the food and asked a ridiculous amount of questions. I also knocked over an extreme amount of business cards because I’m a klutz. Wow, I really am the worst.

This event had it all: tacos with every type of meat and fish, margaritas, water, soda, weird spicy Mexican candy, nachos, and fried grasshoppers. WHAT!? EW. HOW COULD YOU!? I had no idea that I signed up for that, but I tried it anyways. For the sake of being the Number 1 worst person who eats in NYC, I ate fried grasshoppers and lived up to the title. I hate myself more than you do right now, I assure you.

 

In honor of this debacle, I will count down from my least to most favorite dish. Will the grasshopper taco win!? Is she that freaking insane? Read on to find out my little cherubs.

7. El Diablito Taqueria- The original local of this is in the East Village, but I don't think I'll be visiting. I'm going to be honest with y'all-this taco was so unmemorable in comparison to the others I really only know it was a corn tortilla. I don't know what the filling was, I think beef? My friend thought it was corned beef from a can and threw it out without finishing it, so. That's all there is to say about that. They did, however, have a lovely selection of Mexican candy, straight from the source. I had some corn lollipop that had a spicy red seasoning on it, and it wasn't tasty. The caramels were though, and my friend loved some mango lollipop she kept eating for the rest of the night. If all else fails with the tacos, give out interesting candy to keep the people coming. Kudos for that.

6. Toloache- The grasshopper has landed. I am not that insane because it is not even close to number one! I'm glad you all kept the faith. Or so I can only hope. So clearly this place is exquisitely Mexican in every way, because I have literally never heard of or been to a NY restaurant that served bugs. But I mean, I'd be crazier if I had. The owner is famous chef Julian Medina, who also owns Yerba Buena in the city, which I've been dying to try for a while now (but only during restaurant week). The taco itself had crab meat inside, onions, and I mean nothing else really matters since I decided to add on those optional grasshoppers as a topping. I'm not going to lie to you, I didn't hate it. The grasshoppers I mean. They added a crunchy, salty flair to the taco, and I would eat them again. WHO AM I?! Definitely not Andrew Zimmerman. Never say never.

They aren't alive, no worries.

5. Choza Taqueria- This gem of an establishment has two locations: one in the West Village, and another in the Flatiron District. The food is based upon the beachside food stands found in Northern Mexico, which I would know something about if I was more worldly and travelled there. This place had two options, and I got to try them both! Sometimes, I can be lucky. I chose for myself the vegetarian taco option, just because no other place had this and I wanted to experience it all JUST FOR YOU. Be proud of me, please. Because I obviously enjoy the meat options more. So the vegetarian option (on the right) had zucchini, squash, and mushrooms with an avocado salsa and some cheese. It was decent, but not something I would order again and again. Their signature was the carnitas taco, which had braised pork paired with a tomatillo salsa. I realized my deep love for all things pork recently, and I'm not sure whether I should be worried or happy that I can eat a pound of bacon and still want more. Regardless, this meat was divine and if I had solely based this off the carnitas, this place may be higher. But vegetables never win the race in my world.

This is the most appetizing picture I had? Yes.

4. The Bagel Store- I should probably go on some crazy rampage about how a BAGEL STORE is at a Taco Rally, since bagels and tacos are not the same food. Right? Or did someone change the matter of these two items to make them one unit? In regards to the bagel that I ate, I'm pretty sure this occurred. Located in Brooklyn (I promised myself I wouldn't mention the word "hipster" at all), this bagel store has been featured on the Food Network, which to me gives you the utmost credibility. They had 3 different bagels to choose from, including their famous bacon, egg, and cheddar cheese bagel (doesn't belong at a Taco Rally), the tex mex bagel that I consumed, and a Rainbow bagel that had margarita cream cheese. Om nom nommm, this really tasted like a taco in the form of a bagel. Job well done to them. I want to hate, but when something tastes so good, how can I resist!? Plus, I love all forms of cream cheese. Because it's a cheese, and I'm obsessed with cheeses. If that makes sense.


Taco flavored bagel with Mexicali cream cheese.

 3. Mercadito- Having a restaurant in many different locations can mean one of two things in my book: you are just that amazing that you can't possibly stick to one audience, orrr you are a chain and have semi-good to crappy food. Thankfully, Mercadito isn't of the latter. With two NY locations, one in Miami, and another in Chicago, this place is the crème de la crème of fish tacos. The Estilo Baja consisted of beer battered Mahi Mahi (I hope it's an IPA beer! Kidding...sort of), chipotle aioli, and Mexican-style coleslaw. Out of the two fishy tacos that I encountered, this one definitely passed with flying colors. I would definitely go back for more, perhaps in Miami?


Mahi Mahi-or Estilo Baja for the Espanola speakers

2. The Taco Shop-Sometimes, the addition of alcohol to anything brings up a rating. Sorry I'm not sorry. The Taco Shop was actually where I began my night, and I did not leave disappointed. They offered up two different tacos, one being Spicy Chorizo and the other being Chicken Tinga. I had the chorizo, because I'm partially Puerto Rican and love it to its core. The man of the hour was also dishing up some mini margaritas for us to try, with what was probably the cheapest brand of tequila anyone could ever purchase. But who's complaining? I ate the taco, drank my margarita, and sat in total and complete bliss. They are located in the West Village, I got their business card (without being a klutz), and I will most certainly make a triumphant return.

1. La Esquina-We've made it to number 1 without the grasshoppers!! Praisee. Since number 2 involved alcohol, number one is obviously the best because it involved alcohol AND amazing tacos. That combination is lethal. This place has two locations, one in Soho and another in Brooklyn. The taco was called the Carnitas made from pork shoulder, onions, cilantro, and salsa macha. Amazing pork wins my heart again of course. The drink was something made with cheap tequila that wasn't exactly a margarita but pretty much was. And the people working there were lovely. All around winners to me.

I feel bad that I was too busy enjoying these last two foods before thinking about photographing them. I am a failure as a blogger. But at least it maybe makes me less annoying? We'll go with that. Now I have this strong, sudden urge to go to Mexico....